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Podcast #317: Why Your First Impression Matters & How to Improve It | The Art of Manliness

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Whether we like it or not, first impressions matter. A good or bad first impression can mean the difference between landing the job or getting a polite rejection email; getting a first date or getting ghosted via text.

Given the stakes involved, do you know what kind of first impression you make?

My guest today is a psychologist who specializes in the science of first impressions and has written the most useful and thorough book on the topic that I’ve come across. Her name is Ann Demarais and her book is First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You. Today on the show, Ann explains how quickly we make a first impression and the psychological biases that influence how people judge you (and how you judge others).

We then dig into what you should focus on during a first interaction to give a good impression and the behaviors you may think come off as neutral or positive but actually read in a negative way. For example, you may think you’re giving off a relaxed vibe during a social interaction, but others might see you as aloof. Ann explains how to find these blind spots in your self-awareness and what to do about them.

We end our conversation by going through some actionable tips to become more charismatic, like how to keep a conversation going when your first meet someone, how to show interest in someone without looking creepy, and the common mistakes men make with their first impressions. And if you happen to blow your first impression, Ann shares how to recover.

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